Growing Apart

The funeral is over.

The estate is being taken care of.

It's time to get back to our lives.

Tuesday night dance lessons remind me of Dad.  It's the continuity waltz.  Would would have thought?

Sleep is getting more regular.  Alcohol consumption down.  I no longer have that built in excuse for "another glass of wine".  Crap.  That was a handy little excuse.  I'll miss it.

Rode my horse for the first time in a month.  Churchill knew what he was talking about when he said, "Nothing is better for the inside of a man, than the outside of a horse."  (Or, something like that).

I had mentioned to Ranae (my wife) the other day how much closer I felt, not only to my siblings, but to their children and the friends of Dad as well.  She asked if I thought it would stay that way.  Don't know.  Hope so.

I think back to the first time we all left the house to pursue our lives.  To paraphrase someone special. "To go out and see the world."  We all did just that.  In our own way.  Getting together once or twice a year for the big holidays.  Did we really know each other very well a year ago?  I can only speak for myself, and the answer is not really.

It's not that I think we missed out on anything major.  We all built our respective families and the lives we now have the way we wanted them to be.  The reality is, I think it made us stronger.  When we rejoined for the common effort of Dad's care and comfort, the fact that we had a good foundation AND  independence was one of our stronger assets.  Because we had grown apart there were conflicts between us over Dad's care.  Legitimate differences of opinions based much on the life experiences we've had in the years since we left the nest.  But, because of the good foundation, the conflicts led to debates.  Everyone was heard.  The debates led to discussions.  Everyone listened.  The discussions led to consensus.  And, it was that consensus that insured Dad got the very best of available care.  Did we make mistakes?  It does not matter.  Dad was with us every step of the way.  He would not look back.  We should not either.

Growing apart and being able to still come together.  Most families are not nearly so lucky.  You gotta hand it to Mom and Dad.  Hmmm.  When I was fifteen I was sure they had absolutely no idea of what they were doing.