The Funeral

What a day!  This house is so crowded.  People sleeping everywhere.  Why do I always have to sleep next to Billy?  He never stops poking me.  There is lots of crying.  Whenever I cry grownups always tell me, “Big boys don’t cry”.  Well, you can not say that for girls.  Grandma has been crying her head off.  I have never heard anyone make so much noise when she cries.  I wonder if that helps.  Maybe I should try it.

They say we have to go to the funeral.  I heard Dad tell Mom it would be good for us.  We need to pay our respects.  I don’t know.  I don’t really want to see a dead person even if it is Grandpa.  I've never seen one before, except in movies or on our trips to Corriganville.  The dead guys always got up after they died.  What if Grandpa gets up?  I’m staying right next to Billy.  If he runs, I am right behind him.

The cemetery is so close to the house. There sure are a lot of dead people.  I wonder how many cemeteries there are.  Are all those people really under there?

There is nothing to do.  We can’t play.  Mom doesn't want us having fun.  She says it’s time to be sad.  She wants us sad?  That has never happened before.  Not sure why, but I guess it has something to do with Grandpa being gone.  He was pretty old.  Isn't that what’s supposed to happen when you get old?  Wonder where you go?  They say heaven.  Grandpa was a good man.  I’m sure he went to heaven.  Although, Sister Mary said if you are not good you go to the bad place.  No, Grandpa was a good man.  I always heard that.

Dad says we have to be sad, but just for today.  And not even for the whole day.  After that we are supposed to smile every time we think of Grandpa and remember all the fun we had when he was around.  

We can’t play so we've been fighting.  It’s not really my fault.  Billy started it.  I’m almost sure he did.  Dad took us aside and said, “Try and behave…for your mother.”  We were trying.  If Billy would just stop looking at me like that….

The funeral was scary.  The rooms were all kinda dark and the place had a smell I never smelled before.  Maybe it was the flowers.  All those flowers.  I don’t think I have ever seen so many flowers.  I don’t think Grandma stopped crying for a minute.  Mom cried a lot too.  So did Aunt Lee.  Everyone is sad.  I guess this is the time for being sad.  I really don’t like all the crying.

Looking at Grandpa wasn't as scary as I thought.  He just laid there in the casket.  There were flowers all around him.  Mommy said I should kiss him on the cheek.  He did not move.  He was cold.  But then, the room was really cold too.

We finally got to go outside to see where they would bury him.  It must be dark down there.  Oh, he is under a plum tree.  Mom said he liked plums.  They say he will be here for the rest of his life...or forever.  That’s a long time.

Then we went back to Grandma’s house.  She was still crying.  I wonder when she will feel better.  I hate to see her so sad.  Nothing Mom can do makes Grandma feel better.

The house is really crowded now.  It’s sort of like a party, but everyone is sad.  Lots, and lots of big people.  It’s like walking through a forest going from room to room as Billy and I try and grab as many of those candy covered almonds as we can.  Some of the big people I know, most I’m not sure of.  They all get me confused with Billy.  Billy is the troublemaker.  If he doesn't stop poking me…

This isn't a very fun party and we kids are kinda picking on each other.  Hey, I’m only ten, well more like 10-and-a-half.  Bill is eleven and Tom is almost fifteen.  Cathy is fourteen.  Jimmy is only seven.  Dad comes around and gathers all five of us up and says, “Let’s go for a walk.”

Really!  We can do that?  I didn't think we were supposed to have fun today.  We walk past the cemetery and cross the big street to the cliffs.  “Try not to get dirty.  Your mother will kill me.”  Sure, Dad, nothing but dirt and foxtails over here.  How far do you think it is down there?  Is that the river?  How many oil wells do you think there are?  This was a great idea, Dad.  How far do you think we can see?  Is that a hundred miles?  That looks like a long way down.  What do you think we look like from down there?  Can we go down there? 

And, before I knew it, we were down there.  How do we get back up?  “Same way we came down.”  Really, Dad.  “Really son”.  

You know what?  It’s a LOT easier going down a hill than it is going up.  We had to stop a lot.  Was Dad carrying Jimmy?  I wonder if I could get him to carry me.  Man, this is fun!  Sure beats listening to all that crying, although most of us are whining about how hard it is getting back up this hill.  I think that’s different.  We are still a long way from where we started.

It was a good feeling finally making it to the top.  We were all breathing pretty hard.  I was hungry.  Sure could use some of those almonds.  My legs feel rubbery.  We stayed there for a while and caught our breath.  Dad said we better get back.  We had been gone a long time.  I’m not sure I wanted to hurry back, but I was hungry.  I realized we had not thought about Grandpa or the crying for hours.

We must have been pretty dirty because Mom did not look happy.  It was a different “not happy” than the “not happy” we had seen earlier in the day.  She was wondering "where the heck we had been".  He said for a walk.  She said we should have stuck around.  He told her you can’t expect five kids to be couped up in a house full of crying people.  Then he smiled at her and said, “Well at least, I think they will sleep good tonight.”  Yeah, me too, if  someone can Billy to stop poking me.

Next weekend is Easter.  I hope things get back to normal.  I don’t think I like these funeral things.  Too much crying.  I think Dad knew that.  The walk though, that’s something I’ll always remember.