I wish there were more to report, but it is very similar to yesterday. Dad was asleep when I arrived. As I was waking him up an aide came in, got him up and very efficiently got him to the bathroom and ready for breakfast.
In the dining room he sipped on his apple juice as we waited for an omelet. We tried a little conversation, but frankly he looked exhausted. I cut the omelet up for him, but a few bites in he just stopped. Ten minutes later he started to choke up both emotionally and physically and we exited as quickly as possible. Back in the bathroom he handed me a wad of napkin with what he had just tried to eat this morning, then started to cry. He told me he just didn't know what to do anymore. Forgive me, but I told him it was okay for him to give up. For what it's worth I don't think he heard me.
I helped him a little and then gave him some privacy. Cate and Amelia came in a few moments later and Cate helped him get cleaned up again. The PT came in wanting Dad for a session. We got her to hold off for an hour. She had many questions and concerns for us and I just side-stepped as many as I could. Dad came out a few minutes later. I hung around long enough to wish Cate a Happy Birthday and give Amelia a hug before she and Lee headed home today. Dad looked like he was dozing off and I kissed him good-bye.
John, you should never feel like you have to be forgiven for offering Dad comfort. This is what he needs the most at this time and I am sure he has felt it from you and others over the past weeks.
ReplyDeleteI think it is important for him to know that we have enjoyed our life with him regardless of his current condition and that we will miss him terribly, but that we will be ok.
I continue to appreciate your updates and insight.
Love, Bill
Thanks, Bill.
ReplyDeleteJohn, I agree with Bill 1000%. Dad just needs to know we're behind him always, and your words did that.
ReplyDeleteSee you in a few days.
Your loving Brother,
...Jim